This is what it's all about

This afternoon I was standing in my kitchen, looking into my living room flabbergasted. This is what I saw...

Notice the tunnel "slide" Cookie Monster assembled on the chair (excuse the bad quality, taken with my phone)

 

 

I was totally overwhelmed. Look at the mess these tornado's created in the space of an hour, while I kneaded bread, made butter, and unloaded/loaded the dishwasher, amongst other things. I had let them outside to run wild a few minutes prior to the picture, and turned on music so I could clean.

 

 

For those of you that don't know I am a huge country music fan. There isn't a ton of country music in Australia, but I was lucky today, when I turned on the local country music channel, Brookes & Dunn was on. I LOVE Brookes & Dunn. I even went to see their very last concert!

 

 

One of my favorites of their songs was playing "That's what it's all about" If you haven't heard it, take a minute to look it up. It's amazing.

 

Some of the lyrics:

 

"Well you work and you slave

And you spend all day in your thankless job

Then you jump in your Ford

Door to door with a homebound mob

Then you pull in the drive and you hit the chair

And the one you love is waitin' there

Hey, that's what it's all about

Hey, this is the life I couldn't live without

No, I couldn't live without

It's a moment frozen there in time

When the reasons all begin to rhyme

Where loves a little bigger and you finally start figurin' out

That's what it's all about

When they won't go to bed

And do what you said or they eat their food

They cry, and they fuss and you can't cuss'

Cause they'll say it to

Your tired, numb, stressed and your mad

She smiles and says "I love you dad""

I listened as they sang these words, and looked around my house and thought "What a mess, these little kidlets are such disaster makers". I stopped and looked around and thought "I would have it no other way".

 

I wouldn't trade anything for him:

 

Or him:

 

 

 Or when my house looks like it does in the first picture (took a lot of courage to post that by the way!)

 

This is what my life is about. Even on the days when they drive me insane, even on the days when I wish Milk Monster would just sleep through the night already, when we spend a day out on the beach, and play outside all day, when we bake and the kitchen is a total disaster at the end of the day, when I'm changing dirty diapers, when Milk Monster whines because, yes he does want to be picked up for the 20th time in 5 minutes, and when I can snuggle in at the end of the night next to Cookie Monster and sing him to sleep. This is my life, this is everything I ever hoped for, and even though somedays I'm stressed and maxxed out, this is what it is all about. This is a life that I could never, ever live without.

 

If you had told me 5 years ago that this is where I would be, I would have told you you were crazy, but now, this is what it's all about.

 

<3

Cloth diapers, the beginning of a love affair (Part 1)

**I first made the decision to cloth diaper when Cookie Monster was 13 months old. It was a long process to make the decision to cloth diaper him. My husband was totally against it, he said he didn't want to handle poo. I can't blame him, it can get gross sometimes. It wasn't until I really dug in to the research and found that, actually, disposable diapers are supposed to be emptied of their waste into the toilet as well, most people just don't realize that.



Cookie Monsters first cloth diaper

So then I began my research on cloth diapers. Turns out it wasn't my grandmas pin and needle with covers diapers anymore (although they do sell those still). Cloth diapers have gotten much easier to use, in fact some of them are just like disposables, except you don't throw them away.

Prefold Cloth Diaper

As I began researching I got incredibly confused by all the different types, and the information out there. I thought I would try to break it down in simple terms so, if you are just starting out, it will be a bit easier to understand and figure out what will work for your family.

When I started I first tried All-in-ones's (AI1's). AI1's are just like a disposable. They are all contained, no stuffing or adding anything to them. They are waterproof (because they are lined with PUL which makes some diapers waterproof). AI1's generally take longer to dry, since they can't seperate to air out. I wasn't a fan of our AI1's, for us, they just didn't work well for us (I can't stress this enough, every baby is different, every diaper will fit each baby differently). I used them for Milk Monster as a newborn and they leaked, although that could have just been the brand. We sold our Ai1's. For your family they may be a great solution. I like AI1's for beginers. For me they were a good place to start, because they made the transition easier, since you just grab one, snap/velcro it on like you would a disposable and you are good to go. Pros:  easy use, waterproof, no extra peices to stuff/snap in, dads like them :) Cons: Long drying, bulky





All-in-1 diaper (notice how the inner part is one peice of fabric)

Next we tried All-in-2's. We used AI2's for over a year alone. I loved them, and they worked fabulously for Cookie Monster. AI2's consist of a waterproof PUL "shell" (cover) and a snap in liner. The best part of AI2's is that you can continue to reuse the "shell" over and over. Each time you change a diaper snap out the wet liner, and snap in a new dry one, and you are good to go. I absolutely loved these diapers. The first picture, of Cookie Monster, he is wearing a AI2. These diapers are the ones that convinced my hubby that we should cloth diaper, because of their ease. Since you just snap in/out you really only need around 6 shells, and 20 liners, if you do laundry ever 2-3 days, making these a pretty good deal, and very affordable. Pros: Ease of use, faster drying then AI1's, resusable shell, shell is waterproof. Cons: Snap in peices may be be more cumbersome

AI2 diaper (notice the snap in feature)

 

 

When Milk Monster came along I decided to delve into the world of prefolds/flats and covers. They are a good choice, and the cheapiest choice, when it comes to cloth diapering. They are the traditional "fold and pin" diapers. Life has gotten easier since the "good old days" and now we have a cool gadget to use in place of pins. You can still use pins if you like, or you can use Snappi's. They hold the diaper in place, and do the job of snaps. They are easy to use, and convenient. Prefolds are "prefolded" hence the name. They have stitching that shows you where to fold, and padding in the middle. Flats are just that, a flat, rectangle peice of cloth that you fold up. Prefolds/flats are not waterproof. You must buy PUL/Wool/Fleece covers to go over them if you want them to be waterproof. The pro's to prefolds/flats: Cheap, dry quickly, wash easily, "custom" fit. For some people they work fabulously. Cons: somewhat bulky, must buy specific sizes, needs to be folded.

 

 

Prefolds

 

 

We quickly left the prefolds behind and moved onto pockets. I love pockets. Pockets are stuffable. They are waterproof, and have a stay dry layer. The stay dry layer and PUL layer are sewn together, except in the very back, where you stuff in the absorbant insert. You can stuff in as many or as little as inserts (at least 1!) as you want for custom absorbancy for your baby. Some babies wet more, add another insert, some babies wet less, only use one! Pockets are great for dads, or daycares, because you simply put it on and take it off, just like a disposable. You do need to pull the insert out before washing, but this can be done as you throw the diaper into the washing machine. These make up the bulk of my stash of diapers. For us they are a great fit. Pro's: custom absorbancy, easy to use for anyone, not as bulky as some cloth diapers, quick dry. Cons: Time consuming (to stuff them)

 

 

Pocket diaper (notice the pocket at the back, and the insert that you would stuff in)

 

 

Next we have Fitted diapers. Fitted diapers have a very absorbant liner, and are not waterproof. They are great for days that baby has a rash and needs air, but you don't really want to find pee puddled on your carpet. They let baby bum breathe, but they hold in the wet/dirty from baby. You can use a cover on them, to make them waterproof, but I have never needed one. You can feel a slight moistness on the outside when they are wet, and then you can change! Very simple. Some have liners that snap in, some don't. Unlike AI2's you can not snap in a new liner and keep going, because the liners are not waterproof as well, the whole diaper will be wet.  Personally I love my Fitteds. They work fabulously, I have never had a leak with them, and even if baby wets them I don't get wet when I pick him up. Pro's: Easy to use, breathable, great for days around the house. Cons: moderate drying time, a bit bulky, not great for going out.

 









Fitted diapers

 



My new favorite diapers are Hybrid Fitteds. Hybrid Fitteds are not waterproof, but they are closer to waterproof then regular Fitteds. Hybrid Fitteds have a hidden body layer of poly fleece, sandwiched between the outer print and the inner velour. This layer of poly fleece helps the diaper to be more effective. Most have snap in liners. They are breathable, like regular Fitteds. You can use a cover with them, but you don't have to. If I had known about these when I was first buying diapers most of my stash would probably by Hybrid Fitteds. Pro's: Easy to use, closer to an AI1 but more breathable, great for around the house or going out (as long as you don't wait a prolonged amount of time to change). Cons: Moderate drying time, a bit bulky.

 

Hybrid Fitted

 

 The last thing to know is some sizing things. Cloth diapers come in 3 sizes. Newborn (up to around 12 lbs), Sized (usually it goes by weight, sometimes by age), and one size (good from 12 lbs up) I personally use one sizes. They haven't failed me yet, and they started to fit Milk Monster when he was around 12 lbs. They still fit him now, at almost 18 months. He has a lot of room to grow in them. They are a bit bulky when he is smaller. Some people buy sized so they are not bulky through the ages.

 

 The best way to decide which diaper you love the most is to do a trial package. You can try one of each diaper (or 2 or 3) for about $20, keep what you want, send back what you don't, and then you'll know what fits your baby best, and what you like best. Jillians Drawer has a fabulous trial package deal. Check it out. 

 

Lastly there are many many work at home moms that make fabulous diapers. Check etsy.com and hyenacart.com to find some super cute, very well made diapers. Don't get to addicted to buy all the cute prints you can find! It's hard not to want to buy lots of cute diapers!

 

I love my cloth diapers, I wouldn't go back to disposables for anything. They are so easy to use, and earth friendly, plus they are nice and soft for my babies bums! :)

 

 

Milk Monster (4 months) in his cute owl diaper





Changes are good!

I know I've flip flopped around, and haven't done much blogging lately. I am working on getting better at it. I am hoping to get two blog post's out a week for now, maybe less, but at least one.

The blog is going to be changing a bit, and I think it will be for the better. For those who don't know I am in school to become an herbologist. Yay! It's fascinating and fun. I am loving it.

So I am going to start blogging in a more crunchy fashion, something I planned to do anyways. I hope that hang on for the ride, and enjoy reading what I have written.

Five Minute Friday: Real

Real. My boys are screaming, and we are in meltdown mode. When I'm trying my hardest not to scream back.

My life is full of real moments, sometimes they seem surreal. I like to cherish the real moments, knowing that someday I will look back and laugh, missing my rambunctious two year old and his spunky attitude.

*time out*

Real, like the moment I just had, trying to sit down and focus on my five minutes of writing. Suddenly I hear a cry from the next room and my husband calls me. My real life, I can't even get five minutes to write. :)

Sometimes I wish I had five minutes to myself, and then I remember that sweet smile I get, and the hugs, and I realize that if I truly had five minutes all to myself, I may start to miss them. I take a lesson from my real life and learn, maybe I should keep my writing, even if it is just five minutes, until those boys are asleep in bed.



We are linking up over at Gypsy Mama.

Five Minute Friday - Tender

Tender - When my littlest one falls asleep on me, like he used toeveryday when he was even smaller.

Tender - When my little milk monster, while learning to stand, falls over, and sits waiting for me, arms outstretched, till we can nestle in on the couch and nurse his ouchies away.

Tender - When my precious cookie monster falls and my husband runs faster then I do, just to pick him up and cuddle him till he feels better.

Tender - When at the end of the day we all just collapse together to snuggle and read stories, and the big boy gently rubs the little boys head and says "Kisses milk monster"

(Don't mind the mess please, it was baby led weaning dinner :D)

Tender - When my sweet almost 3 year old comes up to me and for the first time says "Mama, I love you"

Tender - When my boys remind me of the love Jesus must have for us, because my love for them is so big I don't know how it could be any bigger.

I see the tenderness in my husband eyes when he comforts our boys, and I see tenderness when my big boy so sweetly pats my little boys back with me.

Linking up over at Gypsy Mama
.

Milk Monsters Birth Story

I've been meaning to write this for awhile, and I think the time has come to put into words Milk Monsters birth, and why I want to homebirth no matter what next time.

I have always wanted to homebirth. With my first it wasn't an option because

I had high blood pressure and at 32 weeks I moved from Australia to America. I didn't have enough time to find a homebirthing midwife, or prepare for a homebirth. My husband was in Australia still and didn't feel comfortable with a homebirth anyways. So I settled for a hospital birth with a midwife who worked at an OB's office. I wasn't very educated and settled for a pitocin induction at 38 weeks for a shotty reason ("low" amniotic fluid - like I said I wasn't educated at all). So when I found out I was expecting again, in fall of 2010 I knew I wanted things to be different.

I started reading every book I could get my hands on. I loved Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Her Spiritual Midwifery book is amazing to. I tried talking my husband into a homebirth, and he wasn't comfortable with it. Once again I settled for a midwife in an OB's office.

At 18 weeks they bumped my due date up a week. They put me through multiple, unnecessary ultrasounds because of my history of high blood pressure (not pregnancy induced high blood pressure, but very well controlled "high" blood pressure). At 28 weeks I went into pre-term labor and they discovered I had a short cervix. I started going for bi-weekly ultrasounds. At 32 weeks I went into pre-term labor again and dialated to a 2. I was laying on the hospital bed, scared and contracting when the OB came in, checked me and said "Well it looks like we are having a preemie tonight." Excuse me?! Was she not going to

attempt to stop my contractions?? Eventually they did stop my contractions, and I was dialated to a 3. Again I brought homebirth up to my hubby, as a 'for a future baby I would love to...' type thing, but he was still not even comfortable discussing it, and because of my preterm labor I knew for this baby it wouldn't happen.

40 weeks came and went (silly boy was overexcited to get out, once we made him stay he decided he was to comfy to come out!). I went to my 40 +6 week appt with my midwife, a woman I had never really liked anyways. She checked me (I was dialated at a 5 and 0 station, 70% effaced) She wanted to induce. By this point in my pregnancy I was so tired, and sore I agreed. She left the room and came back, shoved a peice of paper into my hand and left again. When I looked at it my heart started to race. I was to be induced on a Monday (it was Wednesday) and she was going to use cytotec. For those of y

ou that don't know what cytotec is, please look it up. The short version is that it is a drug approved for ulcers, it has never been approved for use as an inducer - or for use in pregnant women at all. Because of this there are no studies on it's effect, but an awful lot of maternal and fetal deaths have been 'attributed' to it in the small trials that have been attempted. Why is it used to induce? Because it works, and it works quickly. I would rather have pitocin again, then let cytotec come withing a 10 foot radius of me and my baby, and that's saying alot because I didn't want pitocin either.

In all actuality I was hoping they would break my water (I know AROM is bad to) and let me naturally progress......but apparently that wasn't the plan. I think what made me the most angry was that my midwife didn't even discuss it with me. Like I sa

id, I wasn't a big fan of her anyways.

So, with my heart racing I left the office. I was shaking, I didn't want cytotec near my baby. I had a plan. I went to Target and bought a yoga ball. I knew it wouldn't work if my baby wasn't ready to come, and I was determined to have this baby before I was supposed to be at the hospital for induction. (I know I could have just not shown up, but I'm uber non-confrontational when it comes to stuff like this). I also went and bought some cinnabons because they sounded fabulous.

I went home and blew up my new yoga ball. I sat and bounced on it for 20 minutes. I was determined to bounce on the yoga ball for 20 minutes eve

ry hour till this baby came out. I know....not so rational, but I was a pregnant woman on a mission.

I bounced on the yoga ball, in actuality, twice, before it got old and I got tired. I was already having contractions very unpredictably (like once every 2 hours, it had been that way for 2 weeks). When I gave my 2 year old a bath I noticed that I was starting to have contractions closer together. I timed them (okay, I timed the space between 2 contractions once) and they were 12 minutes apart. I was sure I wasn't in labor and went about putting my 2 year old to bed. I refused to believe I may actually be in labor. That was at 7 p.m. At 8 p.m. my contractions were becoming a little bit uncomfortable, and sligh

tly more regular. I started timing them and they were about every 8 minutes apart. I called my mom (she lives 45 minutes away) and told her I thought I may be in early labor, but not to get her hopes up, because it was probably fake anyways and would go away. We talked for the course of an hour and around 9:15 I started to notice my contractions were more like 3 minutes apart. I panicked. "Mom, I'm in labor, come get me now!" She hung up and began her trip to get me.

2 minutes later I called her back again "Mom, I can't breathe through the contractions, they are 2 minutes apart, drive fast" She promised to drive fast. I called my husband, who was working an hour and a half away and told him to hurry to the hospit

al (which was about 30 minutes away, in his direction). I knelt over and almost through up my lovely cinnabon.

I climbed back onto the blessed yoga ball, which helped, and bounced for awhile. My brother in law (visiting from Australia) was the only one home with me. I have to say, the best part of my labor was watching him buzz around "What can I get for you? Can I help with the bags?" He was so nervous, I could tell, and it was so funny. :)

My mom got to the house and picked up for our 30 minute drive to the hospital. At this point the contractions were still every 2 minutes, and very intense. We got to the hospital, I got checked in and I was dialated to an 8! I was so excited, my baby would be here soon. My husband had made it to the hospital in 40 minutes (from an hour away :p) and we were ready to go.

The nurse asked if I was having back labor, I was. She got a grave look. My husband said "Is that a good thing" she shook her head and went back to her computer. I looked at him and said "Baby could be facing the wrong way - we will get through it". I n

eeded to sit up to deal with the pain, they wouldn't let me. That was the hardest part. They transferred me to a different room and started my i.v. I asked to be allowed to sit up and deal with the pain, they pushed me back and said "No, we have to monitor the baby, for his safety" (lie) At this point I couldn't handle the pain laying on my back. I asked for an epidural. (I so wish I had just smacked the nurse and sat up anyways). I got an epidural around 10:30, contractions were coming every minute or so, and I was so close to having my baby, but I couldn't do it on my back.

After the epidural my labor slowed a bit (completely normal for an epidural). I was finally ready to push at 11:50. They had me push on my back to :( This was not what I had planned, but in the hospital it is their way or the highway. The mid

wife wasn't mine (which I was glad, this midwife was nicer). I looked at the midwife as she gowned up and said "We don't want to cut his cord, we went to let it stop pulsing." She said that was fine.

At 12:27 my sweet boy made his way into the world. My favorite thing is this - he held out till his original due date. :) They said he was 41 weeks, but I think he was right on time, right when he was due to be born originally.

He was 8 lbs 14 ounces - 21 inches long - perfection. We let his cord pulse, he got lots of nutrient rich blood into his body, the best part of his birth. He nursed right away and settled in to sleep. It was wonderful.

They transferred us to another room where someone else gave my baby his first bath, swaddled him tightly and laid him in a bassinet, seperate from me - the familiar he knew. I pulled him out and held him tight. When he slept for 4 hours and didn't nurse right away I was met with a scowl and "don't let that happen" from the nurse. (It's completely normal).

When the pediatrician saw us he cleared us to leave that day. I was so excited to be going home. That was at 7 am. We didn't get to leave till 7 pm because we had to wait for all the discharge things to happen. I was so over it and ready to be home.

We finally got home, settled and happy. It took me 6 1/2 months to write this birth story (I know it was really long, thanks for baring with me).

So many emotions course through me while I write this. It may not be right for every woman, but for me it is right to birth my next babies at home, in peace. My husband and I have talked about it, extensively and agreed, our next baby will be birthed at home, where I can do what I want, get up if I want to, and lay on my back only if I want to. Was my baby harmed? No, in fact he is perfect. My confidence in myself was slightly damaged though. Thankfully I now have a happy, healthy, loud, wiggly baby boy who is perfect in every way.